well damn (part two)

I mentioned a few times that we've been praying HARD for the position here at the city of Jonesboro.  Well Travis found out yesterday that he will most likely not get the position.  However he was offered a position in little rock with the Arkansas Department of Environmental Quality.  And since his umemployment is currently under investigation (and we've not been able to draw any money the past few weeks) it looks like Travis will be moving to Little Rock in two weeks.  He will be able to stay with his sister down there so we will not have to rent somewhere for him to stay.  But with extra expenses it looks like we will be worse off finacially than we were before.  So needless to say we are at an ultra low point right now.  We're not sure where this job will lead to..if that means we will live seperately until the summer and Essie and I can relocate down there.  We just don't know.  At this point Essie and I are staying here.  We cannot afford for me to resign and relocate. And to be honest dont WANT to just yet.  We have a ton of decisions to make...when to put the house up for sale, etc.  And Travis will be away from his family for 5 days each week (we are hoping he can come home each weekend).  I will be a single mom for the most part which is going to open a whole other can of worms.   And poor little Essie will just not understand and that's the part that KILLS me.  She loves her daddy so much I cannot imagine how hard this is going to be on her (and him).  I'm hoping we can purchase a webcam or something so we can at least skype each night for her to see /talk to him.   So anyway..I spent 99% of yesterday bawling my eyes out...I had a complete meltdown at lunch yesterday with my coworkers...and bless their hearts they were so sweet to me.  I cried so much my eyes were swollen almost shut and I went to bed with a migraine.  I know...things happen for a reason. It will work out in the end.  Try to think positively but honestly I've been positive for over a year now and I'm tired! I want to wallow in self pity for a few days until we can pick ourselves back up and move forward.  Yes things could be worse.  We have so much to be thankful for.  But at this stage in our life...things kinda suck! But we are working throught it..praying for a miracle to happen in the next two weeks...and keeping busy to take our minds off things.  Today I cleaned to clear my head.  Travis and Essie ran a few errands so I could clean uninterrupted and the first place I tackled was her room....

And bless her lil heart she wants to help so much so she has chores around the house too.  Her favortie chore is to feed the dogs.  If the dogs bark or scratch for food she will run to the laundry room and get them food.  We have to help her fill the cup up but she dumps it in (near, around, in the general vacinity of) their bowl.  She is so proud of herself!

And she also likes to help unload the dryer. 

But every now and then she just can't resist taking a warm towel and wearing it as a scarf! :)