Essie's birth story...

I thought it was time to post Essie's birth story before I pushed too much of it out of my mind! When I was pregnant I really enjoyed reading other people's labor/delivery stories...I took great comfort in hearing what other people went through. It made me feel prepared. Besides I never came across any "bad" stories that scared me. However, here is a warning too all preggos who may read this...this story will probably not comfort you...feel free to back out now! But I think it's important to be honest and tell the true labor/delivery story! :)

Tuesday morning at my doctor's appointment we discovered that Essie had little fluid around her...I was 41 weeks that day and still not dilated. My dr ordered a "medical induction" since it was risky to leave her in there without the fluid. So we arrived at the hospital a little after noon. I had bloodwork drawn, an i.v. put in, the belts strapped to me, etc. Around 3pm that afternoon my dr came over and put in the cervical insert that was supposed to "ease" me into contractions and dilation. He said it would take about an hour to work and I would begin to feel "slight cramping". Not 10 minutes later I felt my first contraction. It wasn't bad but it wasn't "slight cramping" either. Travis checked the monitor and sure enough it was a fairly decent one...I think it registered in the 40's. Those continued sporatically for the next hour or two and I was thinking that labor wasn't so bad! The nurse apparently noticed the contractions on her monitor and came to check on me to make sure I wasn't feeling them too much. Our family/friends began to arrive and I was still feeling pretty good. Then the back pain began. It had only been a few hours since the cervical gel had been inserted and I was really getting uncomfortable. My back was killing me! I could barely feel the contractions in my belly...only my lower back! I paged the nurse to see what was going on. She said the contractions weren't registering on the monitor-I think she thought I was being overdramatic. So I endured. Around 8:00 pm that night I was in so much pain that I asked all the family/friends to go ahead and leave. I didn't want everyone standing around watching me while I was hurting so bad. So everyone left and it was just me and Trav.

It was about that time that I was offered Stadol for the first time. I had taken Stadol while I had kidney stones and I HATED how it made me feel. It did nothing for the pain but made me sooooo loopy/tired/crazy! Before labor began I had said that I did NOT want stadol at all...but at 8:00 that night when it was offered I gladly accepted...considering the nurse kept telling me it would "take the edge off the pain". So they dosed me up and sure enough...no relief. It just made me soooo tired/crazy/loopy. It wasn't long before the contractions really got going. They were coming every 2-3 minutes are were super strong. So again we called the nurse in. She said they weren't registering on the tape & readjusted my belts (she had done this several times before as well). Again I think she thought I was being a wimp. While she was readjusting my belts I began to have another contraction and she was able to feel it with her hands. And at that moment I think she realized how strong they were. She called in another nurse to help find the best place to put the belts so they could get good readings...they would work to readjust those belts numerous times throughout the night with little luck. I was very aggravated because I was enduring horrible consistent contractions without getting any credit for them! There was mention of putting in an internal monitor at that time but I wasn't dilated enough for it yet. My i.v. then slipped out of my vein and filled my arm with fluid...it looked like popeyes forearms. So I was given my second i.v. (which would do the same thing the next day.....lovely).

Pretty soon after that Travis figured that he could press on the belts during a contractions and it would read fairly accurately. So that's what he did...everytime we had one he pressed the belt against my tummy (not a great feeling) throughout the contraction. Once the contractions started reading more accurately the nurses began checking me more often. (now here's where I lose all sense of time) Somewhere between that moment and 3:00 am I was given 2 more doses of Stadol...which again did nothing for the pain and only made me completely pass out between contractions. I have very vague memories of this time. I can remember Travis warning me of an oncoming contraction then screaming (yes, screaming) throughout it. I tried breathing through them...I tried hanging onto the handrails of the bed....I even pulled my hair trying to divert the pain but I could only scream/moan to get by. I begged for my epidural/begged for c-section...anything to get me out of this horrific pain. My back was KILLING me and I could NOT understand why it was so bad so quickly. I hadn't even been given Pitocin yet! The nurses kept telling me that I had to be dilated to 3 before an epidural would be ordered. Around 2:00 am the contractions were coming every minute to minute and a half and were topping the charts. I One nurse came into the check me and said..."oh my god...she's at 8 or 9...we need the epidural NOW!" I remember this moment very clearly through my Stadol haze. I remember Travis' shocked face and thinking "oh my...there won't be time." I had just been at 1/2 cm a little bit ago...this wasn't possible! A few more nurses came in and another nurse double checked me because she wasn't convinced the first nurse was accurate. Apparently my cervix was severely tilted and off to the right. The second nurse said I was only at 3 cm...but that my epidural was on it's way and would be here anytime. Right after that nurse checked me my water broke...everywhere. uggg.

So the next 2 hours (Yes...TWO hours) I waited for my epidural...I was having strong contractions that were lasting a full minute and was only having one minute in between to "pass out". I kept telling travis that I was feeling so much pressure in my bottom and that I was feelign the urge to push. The nurse continued to tell me that the guy was giving an epidural in the room next door and would be here anytime. TWO HOURS later he arrived (5:00 am). And it was a resident...no wonder it took so long. This guy was learning to put these in and I was getting to be one of his guinea pigs...yaaaay! But at that moment I would've let a first grader do it...just give it to me. So we sat up, Travis held my shoulders, I was given strict instructions to NOT move. And then the young guy began to work while the experienced guy told him what to do...I was told it would take 10 minutes. I'm not sure how long it took but I had 6 contractions during the time he administered it. Oh but that stuff is LOVELY. Pretty soon after I was mostly numb from the waist down...I could still move my legs a little and feel the contractions a little but I no longer had the back pain...sweet joy! Travis and I quickly collapsed into comas and slept for the next few hours. Sometime in the next few hours and internal monitor was inserted to monitor my contractions and a monitor was screwed into Essie's head to monitor her better. I was also given a cathetor...I don't remember any of that happening but it did at some point! :)

I awoke the next morning to my dr coming in and checking on me. He was very proud that I had dilated to 3 overnight (he didn't expect it). He chose not to order pitocin since my contractions were so strong and consistent on their own. He checked me and I was at 4cm. He said that I should dilate 1 cm every hour. An hour later I had not progressed so pitocin was ordered. I could feel my contractions pretty good at this point and I kept hitting that little pain button but got no more relief. I had one butt cheek that was awake and I could really feel those contractions in that one cheek...really strange! But I was able to sleep through most of it. I awoke to my dr and nurse in the room strapping an oxygen mask to my face. Scared the living daylights out of me! I freaked out...and began to panic. They said that Essie's heartrate was dropping during contractions (due to the loss of fluid) and they were going to turn off the pitocin. They also began to pump i.v. fluids directly into my uterus to help her handle the contractions better. This worked for a little bit so they once again turned the pitocin back on. The nurse came to check me and again I awoke to "oh my she's fully dilated...ready to push!". I sat straight up and shot a look at Travis who had awoke from his coma on the chair next to me. Again the second nurse came in to check me to "make sure". She said I was only at 5 cm...again that tilted cervix was tricking them. Geez...could that really happen twice???

I was checked again over the next 2 hours and unfortunatley had not progressed past 5cm. My contractions were consistent and strong but for some reason I was not dilating (we would find out why soon enough). The nurse came in and said that it was time to start considering a c-section. I had not researched c-sections so I called in friends who had been through them to give me advice. During that time I guess Essie's heartrate dropped again and I was no longer "considering" a c-section...one had been ordered and I would be on my way to the O.R. in 15 minutes. I tried not to panic. Before I knew it I was being wheeled down the hallway and Travis was getting dressed in scrubs. The O.R. was not what I expected...there were a ton of people in there and it was a tiny room. They put me on the table and began to prep me for surgery. I tried so hard to stay calm but I was physically trembling uncontrollably. The epidural guy (a different one) was standing near my head and was telling me everything that was going on and what to expect. Soon the blue sheet went up and Travis was allowed in. He sat next to me and held my hand. His was ice cold (just like the night he proposed to me). That made me nervous because I knew that he was nervous. I asked the epidural guy to keep talking to me and he did...which was a lifesaver. That man kept me calm the whole time just by small talk! I was quite surprised by the sounds and smells (yes smells) of the procedure. And I was also quite surprised by how much pressure/tugging I actually felt. No pain...just wierd sensations. It didn't take long before they had her out and held her above the curtain (for just a moment) for me to see. Travis went with her to the nurse section as they began to work on her/clean her up. The dr told me she had "brown hair and a major cone-head". Then the dr and nurses began to take bets on how much she weighed. Travis brought her to me (all wrapped up) and the nurse took our pictures and then he was gone. I hated that time. I felt very alone as they closed me up...it seemed to take forever. The dr was kind enough to have someone call the nursery to get her weight...7 lbs 1 oz...at least I had something to focus on. Then I was off to recovery for 30 minutes which was also very lonely.

On the way back to my room the recovery nurse stopped by the nursery window so I could see her again. They raised the blinds and I was able to lay my eyes upon her. She was laying on the table & travis was smiling from ear to ear. I will never forget the look on his face. I looked across the nursery and saw all the family standing on the other side along with all the girls I teach with. It was such a special moment for me...I felt so much joy at that moment. Once I got back to my room Travis came to see me and told me what they had discovered during surgery. He said that Essie was sideways in my pelvis and that was why I was having such bad back labor/not progressing. Each contraction just pushed her head against my spine rather than down into the birth canal. I would've never been able to have her vaginally. I was so relieved to know that my dr had made the right call. So yes...my labor was awful and I did not deliver as I had wished but I was all worth it. I have the most beautiful little girl that I've ever seen! God has truly blessed us!